Red Van Ramblings: Back in the Day

Throwback

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:31:48 GMT

Word of the Day, according to my perpetual calendar:

schlemiel: n. an unlucky bungler: chump.

Jerry's cousin was the kind of schlemiel who, upon finding happiness in a relationship, would always find a way to mess it up.

Now, you've gotta KNOW, that immediately, my LCD mind starts singing...

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Schlemiel, schlamazel, hassenfeffer incorporated...We're gonna do it. Give us any chance, we'll take it. Read us any rule, we'll break it. We're gonna make our dreams come true. Doin' it our way..."

I'm guessing that a schlamazel is something along the same lines as a schlemiel? Just a couple of unlucky, buffoonish type people? Such as, oh, let me see...Laverne and Shirley? Just a wild crazy guess. It's all Yiddish to me anyway, but it begs the question...who was the schlemiel and who was the schlamazel?

Discuss.

That just leaves hassenfeffer, and I'll let you talk amongst yourselves about that one.

SIGH. I used to love me some Laverne & Shirley.

You remember them...those two crazy kids that aired right after Happy Days. Laverne De Fazio, with her Milk and Pepsi fetish. Shirley Feeny, with her "Boo Boo Kitty". Not to mention the kooky pair, Lenny and Squiggy, from upstairs. Squiggy and his Cosmo Kramer-esque..."Hellooooooooo" whenever he threw open the girls' apartment door.

Good clean fun, it was. Back in the days of The Love Boat and "It's de plane, boss" Fantasy Island. Sonny and Cher and Donny and Marie. Yes, those were the days...Before the insanity that is, Reality TV.

That's all I have to say about that.

Enjoy:

How to annoy your brother--1978-style

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:34:59 GMT

First, in recognition of Autism Awareness Month, here are the autism facts of the day:

Statements including the words "always" and "never" cannot be applied to persons with autism. No two are alike. Autism is a spectrum disorder, which means that people with autism can be a little autistic or very autistic. So, it is possible to be bright, verbal, and autistic as well as mentally retarded, non-verbal and autistic. A disorder that includes such a broad range of symptoms is often called a spectrum disorder; hence the term "autism spectrum disorder." The most significant shared symptom is difficulty with social communication (eye contact, conversation, taking another's perspective, etc.). They are not all like "Rainman".
The word "normal" should only be used when referring to a setting on a large household appliance. Not when referring to people.

Okay, moving on....

Seems like so many of my important conversations with my children take place in the car. Maybe because they are my most captive audience while they are strapped in those seats. I don't know. But we have talked about Jesus, friend issues, puberty...some serious "opportunities to grow", as I like to call them.

But this wasn't one of those times.

This particular not-so-serious moment was born out of a conversation where my kids were asking me what I liked to do as a kid. I told them how much I LOVED me some Barbies. I played with Barbies right on up to probably 6th grade...and I say that without shame--keeping in mind that back in the "olden" days (as my kids like to say!) there were no gameboys, ipods, or home computers of any kind. We DID have an Atari but I'm pretty sure my older brother monopolized that...I don't recall getting much playing time on that at ALL. I'm sure he'll correct me if I'm wrong. But I'm not bitter about it. Love you, bro.

While I loved my Barbies, I also loved to sing. Still do. Ask my kids. They get SICK of my incessant singing. Anyway, as I rode along with my very modern kids, I was trying to explain what a "record" was. You know, those things we had before ~~CDs~~, ~~cassettes~~, um, 8-Tracks. I had to explain the whole concept, round things made of vinyl, with holes in the middle. Played on a special machine. The nuances of the 78, 33 and 45 speed. They responded with a hesitant, "Ohhh yeahhhhh, I've heard of those before." Anyway, I recalled for them one of my favorite pastimes when I was a 3rd grader...and I recall if for you now.

When I was in 3rd grade, we lived in Roxboro, North Carolina where my dad pastored a Methodist church in town. We lived in the parsonage (a home that is owned by the church specifically for their pastor to live in) and it was a great big 'ole brick two-story house. I have many memories of this house--which may be blog fodder for another day. My brothers and I should compare notes, probably. I had a dresser in my room that had a big mirror. Among other things, I also had a record player, a 45 that I adored, a hairbrush, and a silky robe. I know what you're thinking: Where is she going with this?

The 45? My only one at the time. Debby Boone's "You Light Up My Life", circa 1978. Probably my older brother's most hated song of all time, thanks to me. Because, when I was 9, it was my most favorite song of all time.

The hairbrush? My microphone, silly.

The silky robe? Well, that was my long flowy Cher hair, of course. Oh, how I dreamed of having long flowy Cher hair. Surely I'm not the only one who used my robe to create the hair?? It was a fine art of tying the long sleeves around the underside of my (very not cute short pixie) hair,"do rag" style, with the rest of the robe positioned over the the back of my head, just so, that it flowed down my back. It was gawrgeoussss, y'all! With my long silky robe hair, I would stand in front of my dresser mirror, brush in hand, Debby Boone blaring, flipping my long flowy Cher hair, singing my lungs out. Over. And over. And over. And over. I'm so sorry I tormented you, bro.

Man, I loved that song.

Good times. Good times.

Ode to '87

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 16:35:53 GMT

"We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves." ~Lynn Hall

It seems to me that people really don't change. And I mean that in a good way.

The "mini-reunion" of the NPHS Class of '87 was so much fun (even my hubby said so). Nine classmates were able to attend along with various spouses and children--one more literally stopped in for like 2 minutes. It was a huge laughfest and I felt like I was back in the lunchroom goofing off with my friends. It was so great to hear what people are doing, where they are living and what they are currently calling themselves. Yes, one of the guys, who we ALL knew as Reed back in the day, now has the audacity to go by his FIRST name, James. The horror! I was like, "Buddy that just ain't working for me....I'm going with Reed, hope you don't mind." I'd like to add that "Reed" nearly caused me to pee my pants several times...I'm not sure if it was his references to his recent tummy tuck, or all his girlfriends, or his invention. OR if it was the fact that all of that was classic Reed and it just warmed me knowing that people really stay true to who they are. Love ya, buddy! Some of us have grown children! YIKES. Some have babies and toddlers! Double YIKES! Some of us have lived nomadic lives. Some have stayed around home. Some of us drive minivans. Some of us drive a Rolls (not lying). But get us all in a room together and we are the same as we ever were in many ways. The more things change, the more they stay the same, right? Or at least that's what "they" say.

As for "the fatness", well, let's just say that we all were fluffier than we were back in '87. Thanks to Kristi for reminding us all of it via the yearbook and scrapbook she brought with her. Ahhh, the fashions of the 80s...big hair, mullets (I am on the mullet wall of shame myself and NO, I don't have a picture) and all around bad clothing choices. You've gotta love it. And you've gotta love even MORE the fact that they are all back in style...with the exception, thank GOD, of the mullet. Which should NEVER be resurrected! Am I right, people??

A bigger shindig is being put together for later in December, so hopefully we can get a bigger turnout. There were some "take charge" kinda gals there and I'm thinking they are on top of it.

We are SO kewl! Class of '87 4-eva!

The Fatness?

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 14:30:57 GMT

"If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush." ~Dawn French

"Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake." ~Author Unknown

"When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad." ~Janette Barber

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Okay, here we go.

It's 20 years since I graduated from high school. How can this be?? I ask myself. How can this be when I am only 29?? But I digress...

BACKSTORY: Kristi, my BFF, has always been the one to really spearhead all the reunion hoopla in the past. The 10th reunion, she pretty much single-handedly organized--to her own great personal expense and frustration. But it turned out to be a super fun weekend. I think everyone had a great time and so all the toil was worth it in the end. Everyone wanted to "do something" for our 15th (2002). It rolled around and there she was again. Kristi. Trying to put something together. You know, everybody's all gung-ho on having a reunion, but no one wants to plan it. Kristi, myself, our spouses and two other classmates met at the homecoming game at our alma mater and then went to get a bite to eat after. It was a lot of fun. Too bad for the ones who missed it. Here is a pic of those of us who didn't miss it.

CUT TO NOW: 2007...late 2007. And talk has been swirling around for months about our 20th reunion. Nothing has materialized. Until...you guessed it. Kristi. The dependable Class of '87 treasurer (or was it secretary?? or both?) comes to the rescue. She sent out a quick email early this week as a last ditch effort to do SOMETHING (dinner at a local restaurant--this weekend) to acknowledge our being 20 years older than we were in 1987. Kristi still lives in the area where we went to school and so she sees some of our classmates (or at least hears about them--gotta love small town gossip) from time to time. Heck, she even teaches some of their children! Dang, we're getting old. So she has been communicating with some of the classmates who are still local.

She and I have been talking a lot this week. "Have you heard from so-and-so?" "Oh, so-and-so's a no" "Aw man, I was really hoping to see him/her"...etc. She talked to one of our classmates this week and she was making excuses about why she couldn't come. Lots of excuses, but then the nameless classmate says, "Well the real reason I don't want to come is that I'm too fat and I don't want everyone to see my fatness." (Which struck me as hilarious that she would break down and confess that THAT was the reason. Although I imagine it is THE main reason many people avoid their reunions.) Kristi encouraged her to come anyway, that we did not mind her fatness. When Kristi told me this, I said, "Did you tell her that WE were fat too??" (I can use the word FAT because I'm not using it to refer to anyone else but Kristi and me.) Kristi said that "nameless classmate" had probably put on about what the rest of us had, and she had a couple of kids, and well, you know what that can do to a body. Why, YES, yes I do know what that can do to a body. It is permanently and irreversibly changed --FOREVER.

DISCLAIMER: Now, let me say, before anybody gets all offended...I realize that a person's weight is a VERY sensitive and serious subject. You are preaching to the choir here. I'm not trying to make light of that issue or make fun of people--only how the classmate herself made reference to the subject. I know a lot of people who struggle tremendously with this and being a (currently AWOL) Lifetime member of Weight Watchers myself and having worked for WW as well, I know, and have worked with a lot of people fighting the weight battle. I have dealt with my weight all my life and at times have had the motivation to do something about it. Currently, the motivation is quite lacking and I'm wondering what I'm going to wear to this impromptu function since I'm dealing with the fatness my own self and most of my clothes seriously don't fit. And 5 days is not enough time to rid myself of 20 pounds...unless I was at the Biggest Loser Ranch, but oh well.

But here's my point....I mean, seriously, are you going to let THE FATNESS keep you from seeing old friends. From cracking up. Reminiscing about our days at NPHS?? Is that, in fact, the "real" reason? We all have our insecurities. We ALL were dorks/had bad hair/were overweight/had braces/were uncomfortable with our bodies/had bad skin/had crushes on people who didn't crush back/made mistakes/said or did things we wish we could take back when we were in high school and sometimes bringing all that back up doesn't feel good. And I realize that high school was NOT the "best of times" for everyone, but come on, don't let the fatness get you down. Come party with the rest of us--fatness and all.

NPHS Prom 1984. In the school cafeteria. Theme: "Come Sail Away" (The band played "Caribbean Queen" by Billy Ocean. Good times. Good times.)