“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.”  ~Chili Davis

It has arrived.  The day upon which I embark on a little adventure I like to call

“Holy Crap I’m Forty”. 

Yep.

Seriously, it is a very difficult concept for me to wrap my brain around.  How can this be?  Why, just last week, I was 21, right?? Or so it seemed.

Somebody once said forty is the new 30. Frankly, 30 kinda freaked me out, so I’m gonna say that 40 is the new 29.  Call it denial if you would like.  I can be okay with that.

Just roll with me here.

I wish I could flail my arms in the air and say “Yippee, I’m 40!”  But honestly, at this point in time, the main thing I’m feeling is, well, pretty flabulous.  And if I flailed my flabulous arms, anyone in my vicinity might be seriously injured, so we’ll just skip that!  I am very out of shape.  I’m moderately stressed. And by golly, the economy is nothing, if not uncertain.  So what’s a girl, er, middle-aged woman, to do?

Here are some things I’ve noticed of late:

• Recently, I have found some disturbingly random hairs growing inappropriately on my forehead…that is to say, somewhere in the space above my eyebrows and below my hairline, I’m having to pluck.  Something’s just wrong about that.  Thank God for tweezers is all I can say.
• Things creak when I get out of bed or walk up the stairs.  Sadly, it is neither the floor nor the stairs which is creaking.
• I don’t remember the last time the lady at the grocery store carded me when I came through the line with my bottle of Pinot Grigio.
• I say a lot of things my mom used to say to me that I swore I’d never say. (i.e., “Because I said so”,  “I’m not every one else’s mom”)
• I won’t give you the details, but my “cycle” has begun to change significantly.  I even think I had a hot flash yesterday.  Not kidding.
• I have to break out the 1.00 magnifiers occasionally and keep a pair in my purse and by my bed.

On the other hand, there are some things, that come along with being in your teens, 20s and 30s, that I’d just as soon not have to endure again:

• Making reallllllly dumb decisions due to being young and naive
• Dating
• Planning a wedding…boy, would I do A LOT of things differently (I’d keep the same sweet guy though!)
• Childbirth (Adore my precious ones, but wouldn’t want to do it again)
• Learning how to deal with passive aggressive people
• Learning that people are always going to judge you
• Learning that people are always going to give you unsolicited advice
• Learning to ignore the aforementioned judging and advising

There is a lot to be said for turning forty.  And the flabulousness could, with a lot, and I do mean a lot, of work, be turned into fabulousness.  Not that I am not, even at this moment, simultaneously flabulous AND fabulous. BUT, I would perhaps feel more fabulous if I were less flabulous…but, I digress…

Happy Birthday to Me!  I’m facing the big 4-0 head on!  Now let’s eat some cake, cause y’all know how I love me some cake!

“ Mmmm. Crunchy potatoey goodness”  ~ Emma as she took a bite of her McDonald’s hashbrown yesterday morning.

My kids are so funny.  It is not unusual for them to make me laugh OUT on a daily basis.  Jacob’s little comments all day long crack me up. 

The Algebra 1 curriculum we are using…Teaching Textbooks…LOVE IT!  I like to call it Algebra for Dummies, and by that I mean ME! not Jacob! FINALLY, algebra makes sense! WHY OH WHY didn’t we have this in 1984??? SIGH. But I digress…So, the lesson will often have funny word problems and they are right up Jacob’s humor alley.  Usually he will rattle off some extension of the word problem that is hilarious.  For example, we are working with negative numbers this week.  One of the word problems today was:

The second-rate superhero can only save 2 damsels in distress per decade, how many damsels can he save in x decades? 

(The answer is 2x damsels, FYI.)

Jacob turns this into a whole scenario about “Second-Rate Superhero”.  “Second-Rate Superhero.  The strength of half a man.  Able to watch bullets go flying by…”  Anyway, it was funny.

And speaking of funny.  My kids, my budding film makers, have been at it again.  This time playing with stunt fighting and sound effects…

ENJOY!

Didn’t you just love the bloopers??  Thank God for humor!  It totally gets me through! 

That,  AND Special K Chocolatey Delight my new favorite cereal and indulgence! Can you say PMS??  That may have been TMI, but I’m just sayin’, it’s really hitting the spot these days. Get some!