So I broke down and cleaned the carpet this week.  I mean, the in-laws are coming this weekend and all…otherwise I probably would have waited another six months.  It was pretty gross before I cleaned it and I’ve gotta say it doesn’t look much better post-cleaning.  What is up with that??  I would really like to have some wood floors throughout my whole house.  Carpet is evil.

Unless you live under a rock, you know that American Idol is in full swing.  I am a huge fan.  But, I didn’t get to watch last night…and it was MOTOWN night too!  OH, how I do love me some MOTOWN!!!   What’s a girl to do??  Search the world wide web, that’s what.  I was able to view the contestants’ performances on You Tube.  My faves for this season are…Allison, Danny and Adam…in that order.  For your viewing and listening pleasure, here is my favorite performance of the evening…

Granted Adam did that WAY bizarre over-the-top Ring of Fire rendition last week…it was just WEIRD…but this, THIS was pure genius.  Second favorite performance of the night was Allison’s Papa Was a Rolling Stone…WOW.  That girl has got some PIPES!  Holy COW! She blew the roof off!  Did I mention she’s only 16 years old??!

Meanwhile, we have navigated through an interesting week around here.  Sensory issues abound.  Did y’all know that there are shiny happy people everywhere?  How DARE they laugh and enjoy themselves??  UGH.  Poor Jacob.  He spent all of last week at home…y’all recall the flu that visited us.  So, he had the week at home.  In the quiet house.  Didn’t wear his earplugs at all.  Only to return this Monday to the onslaught of 800 squealing, giddy, pubescent 6th, 7th and 8th graders.  It was not pretty.  We are in the process of trying to make some adjustments for him at school.  We are also trying to schedule a listening therapy called Auditory Integration Training (AIT) which has been successful for some people on the autism spectrum with noise sensitivities.  At this point, we are desperate to help him.  It hasn’t been easy for him to get back in the groove.  I guess the saving grace is that we have a 4 day school week…oh, the beauty of the teacher workday…so we’re easing back in.  We will get through the next two months and then we are making some major changes.  More on that later.  Haven’t got the whole plan formulated just yet.  I’ll keep y’all posted. ;-)

And with that, I’m off to the Home Depot to find some twine to repair the trampoline net…again. 

“It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.”  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

Yesterday morning, after chatting with one of my dear friends, I found myself wishing nostalgically for “the toddler years”…thinking back to how easy life seemed back then.  There was no school…none that mattered anyway…no homework…no dashing around…no pubescent stress…no impending high school drama…no acne.  Only sticky toddler kisses, potty training and play time. 

Seems like life was much simpler then—or was it?  Maybe I’m having an attack of selective memory.  That happens to me a lot.

Maybe what was simpler was the outlooks of my children.  There were no big, life changing decisions to be made.  Just drawing pictures of stick people—who really weren’t stick people at all. Instead, they were circles with four lines sticking out around the circle and their flat hair drawn oh-so-carefully on top.  Writing stories about happy round stick people.  Happy little stories.  And them saying things like, “See my stick people?  They are happy.”  Lots of “Play with me, Mommy.  Look at what I made, Mommy.  Read to me, Mommy.  What is this, Mommy?”  Slower pace.  Stopping to smell the roses and all that.  Ahh, sweet simplicity.  ::sigh::

They didn’t look beyond that moment.  And I don’t think I did either.  Back when they were 4, the future seemed a long way off.  And now, suddenly, it’s HERE.  The future has snuck up on me and WHACKED me on the head.  It’s daunting.  And it seems like life is so serious all the time.  Boooo seriousness.  Boo stress.  Boo dashing about like a lunatic.

I spent so much time back then wanting to get through the current stage of life.  With the constant, “when they get older, things will be easier” rolling around in my head.  What was I thinking?!  Each stage brings its own set of challenges, stresses—and joys.  It’s funny how I used to want to speed time up and now I just wish we could slow it down.

But I am so easily sucked in by all the hustle and bustle.  Worrying about “getting things done”.  I do try very hard to relish every moment.  Because I think now I realize how fast it all goes by.  I am trying very hard to watch my kids.  I mean, really watch them. Take it all in and slow down a little.  It is not easy.  And it takes conscious effort. 

Because really, even though they might not be saying the actual words anymore, my kids are STILL saying, “play with me, watch me, what is this, Mom”.  I just have pay a little closer attention so I don’t miss it.  And isn’t that the whole point? 

Cough cough cough

So Jacob is still home with me this week.  He is feeling much better, but I am still concerned about the germ spewing he does every time he hack hack HAAAAAACKS, and I feel his school would appreciate me containing said germs to my own home.  I should add that he’s still looking mighty pasty. 

Selfishly, I like having him home to dote on.  We have managed a little bit of schoolwork.  He has rested well the last two nights and is so good about taking all the meds I am currently pushing on him. 

Just call me his dealer.  Or Elvis.  Whichever. 

He has only left the couch on rare occasions.  I think he can wear himself out just walking to the bathroom.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now though…just hoping and praying that nobody else gets it.  The Germ-X abounds in my house!!  Emma got home from school today and has sanitized about 6 times…without being asked.  Now there’s a kid who doesn’t want to be down with the flu! 

I was fumigating the kids’ bathroom today and it occurred to me that I was finding these random blobs of toothpaste EVERYwhere.  I ask you, HOW does one get toothpaste on the wall, door, sink, floor, cabinetry, mirror and tub??  Seriously.  I imagine the kids dancing an Irish jig around the bathroom whilst flinging their toothbrushes around in the air.  Michael Flatley’s got nothin’ on them!

Or maybe it’s just been a really long time since I’ve cleaned the bathroom. 

OY. 

Either way, toothpaste blobs are on my poo list.

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book."  ~Irish Proverb

The FLU has landed.  Right here in the cuckoo's nest.

Right here on my poor baby boy.  So pitiful.  Baby girl was sick with the creeping crud last week, and thankfully, she has now recovered--with the exception of the occasional hacking jag.  But my boy is feeling like doo-doo, y'all!  A nostril swab (aka brain stab! YIKES!) has proven that my boy has contracted Influenza "A"...I suspect from the kid next door who has been down with the flu for over a week now.

I can't recall any of us ever having had the actual full on for real flu before.  Oh, we've had stuff before...real bad cruddy stuff.  But to actually be diagnosed with "Influenza"...well, there's something just a little bit more medically alarming about that.  Plus, it just tops off an already foggy, dreary, rainy day!  Good times.

I went to my local drug store and picked up all the prescribed pharmaceuticals, as well as a boat load of hand sanitizer and new toothbrushes for everyone!

I'm envisioning my whole house and its entire contents being lifted by some ginormous crane and lowered into a big 'ole vat of hand sanitizer.  Like a flea dip...or a flu dip, if you will.  <insert cheesy grin here>

Let the fumigation begin! 

"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."  ~Bill Watterson

Yellow--

My car is yellow.  (No, I didn't get a new car.  The Edge is doing just fine, thank you very much!)  The pollen is out in FULL force down here in the South!  Complete with sniffy nose and scratchy throat.  <a la Pacino, "Say hello to my little friend"--->Zyrtec!>  Hubby and Jacob take their allergy meds all year round.  As for Emma and me, we just get all puffy-eyed and drippy-nosed once or twice a year.

All that yellow has "We All Live in a Yellow Submarine" looping through my brain.  Not my favorite Beatles song, by any means.  I like "Imagine" a whole lot better.  It makes more sense anyway. 

But whatever.

Friday Funny--

I saw something over at my other home (Facebook) this morning and wanted to share it with all 3 of my readers over here.  Y'all may be aware of my affinity for Chick-Fil-A...but this describes it oh, so well.  Please enjoy the vocal comedy stylings of Tim Hawkins, who is hilarious.  Please go visit his site or search him on You Tube, you won't be disappointed.

Meanies--

So I was headed over to pick up Emma from school while ago.  The elementary bus had just dropped off here in the 'hood and so there was a gaggle of elementary children spread across the road and sidewalk.  What do I spy but some little bully grabbing another kid by the wrist and bashing him in the stomach with his knee? 

I couldn't control myself.  I rolled down my window...

"Hey." <kid is ignoring me> 

"HEY!" <meany is still ignoring me and STILL abusing the other kid>

"HEEEY YOU!" <got his attention, but he's giving me the "who me??" look>

He's lucky I didn't get out of my car.

"ACT RIGHT!"  That's what I said to him.  Act right.  Kinda dorky, but I made my point. 

Well he stopped beating up the other kid.  And he moved away and was looking all around like "I didn't do anything".  <UGH.>

This is the VERY reason my children do not ride the bus.  Kids often do not get called out on their bully-ish behavior.  And other kids aren't going to tattle lest they be the bully's next victim.

I hope that kid goes home and tells his mama that some crazy lady was yelling out her car window at him for no apparent reason.  I would be more than happy to explain it to her.  <insert maniacal grin here, complete with hand wringing>

There's no excuse for it. Period.

That is all I've got to say about that.

Torture Update--

We all survived the "torture" (aka testing) this week.  Emma, however, came down with some horrible 103 fever/sore throat/headache virus and, wouldn't you know, missed the second day of testing.  The HORROR.  She spent the day at the doctor having a strep test, chest x-ray and blood draw.  Negative strep and everything else looked alright. We did come away with an antibiotic though.  I think the doc was concerned about her rattle-y sounding lung.  She was able to return to school today and finish up the test.  Shwew!  Wouldn't want her to miss the "Precious" (a la LOTR's Golem) testing, now, would we?!  It's done for now...that is until late May, when they will have the second go round.  More on that later, I'm sure.

And now, I am off to begin the weekend...

And so it begins...another season of standardized torture, er, I mean, testing.  It makes me want to give a hearty Charlie Brown-esque AAaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh!

So where was I??

I just get so annoyed with the whole process.  And have yet to understand the point.  My kids have been in school for some time now and it never gets less annoying.  Anyway, it's been a long while since I had a good rant here at the blog, so here goes...you have been warned!

My kids are stressed, y'all.  The school puts too much pressure on these kids.  The schools/school district/government/whoever...puts too much pressure on the teachers for their students to "perform".  And for what?  Some kids simply don't test well--cliche, yes, but it's a fact.  Some kids are not going to master certain subject matter whatever you do, however you teach it.  These kids don't know why they are taking these tests, only that they have to take them.  Don't get me wrong, I agree that tests such as the SAT and ACT, actually serve a purpose.  And when you are taking a college entrance exam, you know WHY.  When my kids ask me, "Mom, WHY do we have to take these tests?"  It's not an easy question for me to answer because I feel so strongly about it.  And I don't want my children not to care.  So I tell them that they are designed more to test your teacher than to test you.  I tell them to give their best effort and then don't give it another thought.  "But my teacher said I have to do well or, or, or..."  Or what?  This year, I chose to give my kids a sage piece of advice my dad once gave me..."In 20 years, who is going to know or care that you made a D in that class?" 

What?

Yes, 20 years ago, I, a student at Meredith College in Raleigh, North Carolina,  a preacher's kid, no less, made a D in Religion.  Go ahead and have a laugh at the irony.  It's okay.  At the time, I thought the world was going to cave in around my pretty little head.  Also, I knew my parents were forking out a ridiculous amount of moola for me to attend college and so that was stressful for me.  But when my dad said those words to me that day when I was so distressed, I learned that keeping things in perspective goes a long way toward keeping a girl sane. 

SIDEBAR:  Now, let me mention here, that "Dr. I-know-your-name-but-I'm-not-going-to-use-it-here", professor of Religion at Meredith College (a women's college with Baptist roots! <clears throat>) was a bespectacled, clog wearing, mustachioed, tweed jacket and khaki wearing, sitting on the front of his desk, atheist who in NO WAY should have been teaching a religion class.  Now that is my humble opinion.  But I sat there every class and had to listen to that man malign my personal belief system and tell me that the Holy Bible was nothing more than a historical work of fiction.  UGH!  (You are entitled to your own opinion about Jesus and the authenticity of the Bible, but please allow me that same courtesy.)

But I'm afraid I digress...

Anyway, that piece of advice from my dad really took a load off my shoulders.  And so I shared it with my kids..."In 20 years, no one is going to know or care how you scored on this test.  So, just keep it in perspective!" 

Yes, teachers and schools need to be held accountable for providing a fair and adequate education for our kids, but is this the right way?  And I'm not saying there should be no expectations of students to learn certain things.  Let's just suppose for a second, that these standardized tests are meant to assess how well the teachers are doing...

You can be the best teacher that ever walked the face of God's green Earth and your students may not "perform" to the "standard".  And even if they DO meet or exceed the standards, does that mean you have a good teacher on your hands?  What your students know or don't know, in my opinion, does not define how a good a teacher is.  A good teacher is defined by compassion.  Willingness to think outside of the box.  Flexibility.  Making learning fun and interesting.  NOT teaching to some test. 

I don't claim to have all the answers, but I do know this...there has to be a better way. 

But then, nobody ever consults me about these things. 

<steps down from soapbox>

Recently Emma has been studying the "roaring twenties", the "jazz age" and the depression/post-depression era at school.  She had to do a little project on it and needed some pictures to go along with some of the subject matter.  Here's a fun one I just wanted to share...

Perhaps these gals drove the "lips" to the liquor in the first place?  I'm just sayin'.  In fact, they are making me think I need a drink real bad...

Happy Friday!

"Stress is an ignorant state.  It believes that everything is an emergency."  ~Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind

 

A funny thing happened Friday morning on the way to...wait, I wasn't on the way to anywhere...I was just sitting at my desk, minding my own business (1st mistake), talking on the cellie (2nd mistake) to my dear friend Lisa.  Just chatting away about who knows what. When all of a sudden, I happened to swivel around in my swivelly desk chair only to see my neighbor's 4 year old son standing there.  RIGHT there.  Looking at me.  In his Superman PJ's no less...complete with cape.  HOLY COW...scared the living daylights out of me!!!  I let out a little scream and my friend must have thought something terrible had happened.  I mean, technically it WAS a home invasion, I suppose.  I was just a tad freaked out...reasonably so, doncha think?  I mean, I realize he is 4 and all, but dang!  He did TOTALLY sneak up on me.  He's lucky I didn't go all "MADEA" on him!  Don't people teach their children to KNOCK??? 

Anyway that little face looked up at me and said, "Can you get Peanut?" (Peanut Butter is the name of their roving orange tabby kitty who likes to jump the fence and torture my Jiffy.)  I said, "Does your mama know where you are?"  He said, "I need you to get Peanut back for me."  I realized that he was distressed because Peanut was in our yard.  So I tell him that Peanut comes to visit us from time to time and I was sure he'd jump the fence back into their yard whenever he got good and ready.  And then I escorted the young caped crusader out the back door, from whence he came. <That kid is so stinkin' cute>  As we exited the back door, I heard his mama hollering for him to get himself back home.  I watched him scale the fence and then I walked back in the back door.  And promptly locked it behind me.  I guess that'll teach me to leave the back door unlocked!

In other news...last night I was lying in bed watching the 11 o'clock news when I hear this story...

A Florida woman, unhappy with her drive-thru experience, calls 911, not once, but THREE TIMES, to report that the McDonald's restaurant is out of CHICKEN NUGGETS <Seriously???>, would not give her a refund and <oh the horror!> wants to give her a substitute meal.  {I mean, who among us hasn't had a fast food emergency?? But did WE call 911?  Noooooooo. We keep our craziness in check!}  As a result, the Po-Po were called and the woman was issued a citation for misuse of 911 services. 

I don't make this stuff up, people!!  I could NOT stop laughing.  Hubby, who was mostly asleep, kept asking me what was so funny. I was trying to tell him, but was unable due to all my snorting and crying.   He then informed me that I needed to be quiet and go to sleep.  It was so ridiculous, I just couldn't collect myself.

What have we learned here, my friends???

A. News stations are desperate for "news" apparently.

B. The word "emergency" is a relative term.

C. People are Kay - Ray - Zay!!!! 

and

D. These are the very stories that help us all feel better about ourselves.  So, KEEP 'EM COMING!

That is all I have to say about that.